Unhappy Marriage? Divorce may not be the solution for an unhappy marriage!

Most people think that they are in an unhappy marriage because they are simply not compatible anymore. They think that their differences cannot be resolved. A lot of the times, it is not an issue of incompatibility, it is simply because they do not have the resources to find a solution to their unhappy marriage. The word "incompatibility" is a nominalization (a process noun), and such words create the impression that nothing can be done about the incompatibility and hence, their unhappy marriage. A more empowering question to ask would be "How can we be more compatible with each other?"

If you are thinking unhappy marriage, it could be because you are stuck in a rut of thinking about the "unhappy marriage" problem and how to fix it. That is called problem thinking which revolves around what wrong or needs to be fixed rather than what is sought after. A more empowering alternative would be outcome thinking which provides focus for what you want to achieve, the ensuing effects and the resources required to achieve it.

Here are some questions that you can ask so the you can find the resources to overcome an unhappy marriage and achieve the marriage that you've always dreamed of.


Questions to ask yourself if you are in an unhappy marriage:

Unhappy marriage solution Q1

Is it worth saving my marriage?

Most people think that divorcing is an inevitable solution for an unhappy marriage. At the end of the day, the question of whether it is worth saving your marriage is one that only you can answer. Usually, we all have parts in us that want contradicting outcomes. Does one part want a divorce and another still loves your spouse? That is natural - realize that both parts are serving a positive intention of making sure that you are happy. If you have even a tiny part in you that still loves your spouse then read on.

Unhappy marriage solution Q2:

What do you want instead?

Usually in an unhappy marriage, there might be a perceived incompatibility in the following areas: physical, mental, spiritual and emotional.

Emotional Compatibility – Ability to empathize with a partner’s emotion. Level of caring, love and nurturing shown towards each other.

Intellectual compatibility – Enjoying similar interests. Enjoying similar types of discussion.

Physical compatibility – Frequency and quality of sex. Tuning into each other's sexual rhythms.

Spiritual compatibility – Seeing “eye to eye” and sharing spiritual values. It does not mean belonging to the same religion.

Overall energetic compatibility - Indicates the harmonization of the masculine and feminine energy between the couple.

So the question to ask here is, how specifically do you want to be physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually compatible?

Be detailed in your description. Do not censor what you write. Begin with the sentence "If I can have anything I want ...."

Unhappy marriage solution Q3:

What are the resources needed to get what you want?

The marriage problem solving steps can help you overcome an unhappy marriage or rather, manifest the kind of marriage that you have always wanted.



Energy follows thought. If you focus your thoughts on "unhappy marriage", then that is where more and more of your energy goes. You end up getting more and more of what you do not want ie, "unhappy marriage". Hopefully the questions have set you thinking in a different direction from what you have been used to.