The Bible says in:
Ephesians 5:33 that husbands are to love their wives, and wives are to respect their husbands.
Seems easy enough, right?
But this commonly cited verse makes a point that's often overlooked, a point that is central to the crazy cycle: Men and women differ when it comes to their deepest relational needs.
If a husband's deepest need (respect) and a wife's deepest need (love) are fulfilled, their relationship is able to flourish. But when these needs are unmet, the cycle begins.
So, why this craziness? When a woman feels unloved, she reacts in a way that may seem disrespectful to her husband. He then reacts to this disrespect in ways that feel unloving to his wife. The more she complains and criticizes, the more he shuts down and stonewalls.
The message she's trying to send is that she feels unloved at that moment," But she will react in very negative ways that, in the male arena, feel disrespectful. She isn't trying to be disrespectful, but is feeling unloved. Sadly, he may not decode that."
So, how do you stop the "crazy cycle" once it's started?
As any married couple eventually discovers, romantic feelings don't exist everyday. It takes effort to keep a marriage strong, to keep minor disagreements from becoming major ones, to favor sweet words and tender glances over harsh comments and contemptuous glares.
A husband can feel disrespected but appear unloving. This is why things get crazy! Our negative appearances work against us...all you have to do is learn this crazy cycle, and when you see the spirit of your spouse deflate, trust . . . that you’ve said something that appears unloving or disrespectful. Then go back and say, 'Did I come across as unloving/disrespectful? I'm sorry, will you forgive me?' That works almost every time."
When husbands and wives put this fundamental concept into practice. To that end, he and his wife started the Love and Respect Marriage ....
But this commonly cited verse makes a point that's often overlooked, a point that is central to the crazy cycle: Men and women differ when it comes to their deepest relational needs.
If a husband's deepest need (respect) and a wife's deepest need (love) are fulfilled, their relationship is able to flourish. But when these needs are unmet, the cycle begins.
So, why this craziness? When a woman feels unloved, she reacts in a way that may seem disrespectful to her husband. He then reacts to this disrespect in ways that feel unloving to his wife. The more she complains and criticizes, the more he shuts down and stonewalls.
The message she's trying to send is that she feels unloved at that moment," But she will react in very negative ways that, in the male arena, feel disrespectful. She isn't trying to be disrespectful, but is feeling unloved. Sadly, he may not decode that."
So, how do you stop the "crazy cycle" once it's started?
As any married couple eventually discovers, romantic feelings don't exist everyday. It takes effort to keep a marriage strong, to keep minor disagreements from becoming major ones, to favor sweet words and tender glances over harsh comments and contemptuous glares.
A husband can feel disrespected but appear unloving. This is why things get crazy! Our negative appearances work against us...all you have to do is learn this crazy cycle, and when you see the spirit of your spouse deflate, trust . . . that you’ve said something that appears unloving or disrespectful. Then go back and say, 'Did I come across as unloving/disrespectful? I'm sorry, will you forgive me?' That works almost every time."
When husbands and wives put this fundamental concept into practice. To that end, he and his wife started the Love and Respect Marriage ....
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