How to Build Marital Bliss

We fall in love, get married, have children and raise a family. Over the years, love deepens, the bond strengthens, but our feeling of marital satisfaction waxes and wanes.

During the "bad times," there is more arguing and blaming, less sharing and touching, fewer moments of joy and appreciation. But we weather the storms, and some 50 percent of us do stay married.

What most couples don't realize, say marriage experts, is that there are things they can do to ensure better times than worse, to make riding out the storms smoother and easier.

Marriage is like a beautiful garden,"It requires skill and constant attention. If tended to, it will thrive, but if neglected, it will wither and die."

The fact is that all marriages have problems that cause conflict and strain the relationship. Among the most common problems:

* Money. There never seems to be enough, or if there is, one person is upset about how the other spends it.
* Sex. It's the reason 45 percent of couples seek marriage counseling. Usually, one partner desires sex more often and on different terms than the other.
* Work. Partners have different role expectations about who does what within and outside of the home.
* Children. Couples may disagree over how to raise and discipline children.

Positive Communicators Fare Best:

These problems won't lead to marital meltdown if you can talk about them constructively with your partner.